Ok, so I have a bone to pick with GE. Or any company that now makes the pretty, shiny, stainless steel vertical door refrigerators that pretty much have room for a gallon of milk, a crapload of condiments, a carton of eggs, and a crisper that holds a bag of prewashed lettuce.
The refrigerator of my childhood, which was the horizontal door type, seemed to hold a LOT more food. You could fit a heck of a lot more in there, possibly even a whole Thanksgiving meal! And remember that "Punky Brewster" episode where one of her friends (the annoying Cherie, I think...) got stuck in the old refrigerator when they were playing hide and seek? A public service announcement, to be sure, but a wise lesson that scared the shit out of kids everywhere. It was like the "Jaws" of Generation X.
But refrigerators of today? You can't even fit a shih tzu in there. Mine tries like mad to crawl in there if it's open, and I can tell you, he won't fit. (Personally, I think he views it as some kind of unreachable Nirvana.)
Also irritating: Stainless Steel, the material that looks great but is a magnet for finger prints the minute after you clean it. And no matter how often you wipe it with Method cleaner, it still looks...streaky. And fingerprinted.
But no, my real issue here is the lack of space. And Mike. Who seems to realize we have a space issue but forgets it when he orders and/or opens certain things without regard to my food space. It's an ongoing turf war since our days in Arizona, where the wine supply eventually squeezed out the gallon of milk I bought one day.
So now that the wine is safely stored in a wine storage facility (that's a whole other blog), the fridge is now privy to some newer invaders of the constantly invading type.
Invader #1:
Verve energy drink. We are supposed to sell this for Mike's racing team this year. I don't like energy drinks.
Mike -"It tastes better than Redbull!!See, I've had two already today!!! Don't you want some???" (Buzzes around house, talks faster than normal.)
The great thing about this drink is that we have several cases of it just waiting to be shoved in there. Because let's face it, we're not selling it. We're merely trying to disguise it as RedBull when our friends come over for drinks. We even bring it to parties. I think people are starting not to invite us over anymore because of this stuff. I'm thinking it will be in our house (and Mike's trunk) until 2011.
Invader #2:
Random Cans of Beer.
This one I have to blame on our friends, as I only drink beer when I'm in Mexico or the Caribbean. They bring them, forget them. And there they sit, until they next time they arrive, with more beer. It's a vicious cycle.
Invader #3:
Monavie, the latest craze in antioxidants.
This is a recent newcomer to the party. Our friends swear by this stuff, it's supposed to be chock full of antioxidants and vitamins and the cure for everything that ever ailed you. You're supposed to drink 2
oz's a day. One of our friends won't travel without it, and says it helps hangovers. I haven't found that to, um, be the case yet. Although it would probably help if I drank it after I came home for the evening, instead of in the morning.
This invader I actually kind of like. I don't mind drinking it. I'm not sure if I see the benefits yet, although I imagine the antioxidants getting into my bloodstream, battling all the bad things that apparently lurk there. We have 8 of these bottles a month.
Invader #4:
TGI Friday's Pina Colada Mix.
"Oops," says Mike, after opening it because he finally wanted a Pina Colada 6 years after we've been together, "I didn't realize you had to refrigerate it after opening."
Yes, this lovely relic was around before we started dating, and has been the part of the pantry from two houses in Arizona and then traveled across country to take up residence here in Miami. I hate Pina Coladas, so now this will probably sit for a long time in our fridge. Taking up space on the valuable "top shelf", the only place tall bottles can go.
Now yes, I've been guilty of hogging up some parts of the fridge too. The yummy mango chutney that seems to go well with everything, except that I never use it. The delicious and expensive sea scallops that I bought at Wild Oats that I didn't need a half pound of and insisted on freezing because they were good quality scallops and are still sitting, frozen into a scallop brick, in my freezer a year later. The miso that I use to baste portobello mushrooms with the three times a year I make that dish.
This fridge takeover does make me miss the days of this, though:
That's right, you have your own rented pad now. I forgot. Have some room for the Colada?
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